We needed bar soap for hands last night, so DH asked me if I wanted the chance to be the errand adult, and I took it. I also added, that as long as I was going to the CVS, I’d get the 118 photos of K printed, the ones I want to scrap. DH did a quick mental multiplication of $.19 a photo and let me at it.
While I waited for the one hour printing to crank through, I read some books in the back row, they had one featured on Focus on the Family lately about birth order, by Dr Keven Lehman. I read it gingerly so I didn’t damage the spine. Today I was trying to de-emphasis perfectionism in both the school boys, they are functionally first borns being 5 years apart. Since all 3 of my kids are five years apart, its sort of like raising 3 only children, according to the book.
Question for the homeschool bloggisphere: how do you teach the fussy/perfect subjects like spelling and handwriting without encouraging perfectionism in your so inclined children? What if you the parent ARE the teacher? I know it can be done, even though most of the childhood advice books assume that these roles are done by two different people. I don’t particularly want to Jeckle/Hyde myself though!
The book urged folks not to neglect younger children’s photo albums. How’s that for a pat on the back? When I got home, K wanted to play with the photos. She kept saying, "Kitty!" and pointing to the baby pictures. "Kitty," appears to mean anything cute, like her stuffed animal cat. Well, she is that cute.
I think there is a difference with teaching mastery of spelling or wanting neat penmanship that is completely separate from perfectionism.
The perfectionist is unusually hard on themselves for not being perfect without effort or before anything has ever been studied. The perfectionist may think they are stupid and say terribly shaming things to themselves which are unwarranted. Such as with our Spelling Power the first time the child ever has to spell a word and they get it wrong they think they are dumb.
Perfectionists who are fast learners get used to not having to work hard to learn something so the first time they stumble they are harsh on themselves.
It is entirely different to be frustrated they didn't get a 100% on a spelling test after having studied and feeling angry that all their effort to learn it didn't work.
I just try to instill good work habits in my children and focus on the EFFORT. I point out that without effort having been spent on learning something, their too harsh response and self-labeling is out of synch and wrong.
Doing short amounts of penmanship but well is our goal. It takes practice over the long term. Period.
HTH
ChristineMM of thethinkingmother.blogspot.com