Oldie but Goody

This is my all time favorite co-op memory, because it started out as
‘how do I get these people to come on time so I have help hauling in all
my sets for drama class?’ and turned into an uplifting bonding
experience. I can only explain it because I prayed a lot, and God was
good to us. Here’s the story:

It used to be at Eagle’s Wings co-op, that every 6 weeks, whoever was
making announcements, reminded the whole group of 25 families to come at
12:30 to help set up. Sometimes the whole group had had to wait for the
leader, so this rang hollow, and everyone knew that they weren’t all
needed, because they’d come early before, and twiddled their thumbs.
When I became the co-ordinater, I didn’t change this policy, I was too
busy changing other things.

Another ongoing frustration/conversation topic was the value of ‘extra
curricular’ actives. At planning meetings, most of the time we steered
away from ‘core’ activities, because we only had 12 weeks a session, or
no one wanted to have the choice of text book dictated to them. Then
later on, when people didn’t show up, folks said, ‘well, all we are
offering is enrichments, it really doesn’t matter.’ I, for one, didn’t
want to be bothered organizing a co-op no one showed up at. If their
time was too precious to bother with coming, than mine was too precious
to organize it in the first place.

Last Spring I was teaching drama for two different ages, and I had used
up 4 refrigerator boxes making the large sets that had to be hauled out
of my mini van each week (getting them put away was no problem) Each
week I made more, so the work load was getting greater and greater,
meanwhile, the level of motivated haulers were getting smaller and
smaller. I was fed up, but I could see their point of view too. I am the
only one with a key, so I had been running into the building to get it
ready, then was stuck as the children arrived. The adults, unaware that
I had a van full of large sets, or a church full of young ‘helpers,’
chatted outside, while the children did what unsupervised children
do…I kept looking out the windows at the relaxed adults, unable to get
their attention, and unable to leave the kids alone in the building.
Things were getting ugly in my heart.

The other problem (besides lateness) was a dark, late Winter and cold,
wet Spring. No one felt excited about homeschooling anymore and I had
overheard a few ladies complaining vaguely about how things were
organized. I assume about how things were organized around the co-op,
because the subject switched as soon as I showed up!

Finally it got so bad, that I blew up.

So, I determined to fix things, and hoped to keep my Christian testimony
while I was at it. I prepared for the speech and apology that I knew I
had to make by pouring my heart out to anyone who would listen, my
Husband, Mother, Mother-in-law, Pastor, Next Door Neighbor. I got them
all praying for me too. I imagined things from my angle, other people’s
angle, rewound my imagination and inserted things to make it better.

I wrote a very personal e-mail to the whole group explaining how
annoying everything was from my point of view, and apologizing for
getting mad at them without ever having explained my problems to them,
not delegating, and taking on more than I could handle. I assured them
that I knew that they loved me, and don’t want me to be overburdened.
And that I understood that none of them felt like minding a dumb rule
that didn’t make sense to them. Then I proposed that we split the group
into set up teams, and take down teams, so that we didn’t all come at
the same time for half of us to be bored. I added the enticement that
the early team could go home as soon as classes were over and that the
late team didn’t have to show up until circle announcements time.

The night before co-op I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote and re-wrote my
speech notes. When I arrived 30 min early, the parking lot was full. As
I got out of the car, I handed the church keys to someone else, and
stayed by my van to direct the unpackers, so they knew what went and
what stayed.

When it was time to lead the circle, everyone was as excited as if we’d
all had grande frappachinos, and most of these ladies only drink
decaffeinated organic herb tea. As I started to take a deep breath for
my speech, a light turned on in my brain about "extra" curricular
studies. As close as I can remember it, this is what I said:

Boy! You guys read your emails! Thank you for coming early and helping
me to unload my car, mind my little toddler, and supervise the other
children. In the first few weeks of the year, you all did this, and you
must have noticed that set up only takes 4 families about 10 min to do
this. What you don’t know is that I’ve made many more drama sets since
then, and that I can’t watch my 2 year old, unpack my car, let you into
the building, and supervise the set up by myself. I haven’t asked you
for help, I’ve gotten overwhelmed, and I’ve been really cranky about it.
I mentioned it to you in an ungracious way last week, and I’m sorry.
Yes, if you are wondering, it was that time of the month. Will you
forgive me for getting mad at you for not being able to read my mind?

(Now that was a tension breaker!  after nervous laughter, I continued)

In the past when we’ve had lateness problems, we were urged to all come
at 12:30.  You are so efficient at set up, that I don’t think this is
necessary. What do you think about dividing into a set up crew and take
down crew?

(we voted, various people apologized to me for letting me get stuck,
oddly enough, not the ones that did it most of the time)

I continued:

We know that when we teach science, we aren’t just fulfilling a state
requirement, we are showing our kids the orderliness of God’s creation,
and the beauty of it. When we study art or music, we are teaching them
to use their creativity because they are made in his image, and are
creative like he is. We aren’t just training future citizens, wise
consumers or future employees, we are raising people created in the
image of God, so that they love him with all their hearts, souls, minds
and strengths, and glorify him by the excellence of their work. We also
glorify him when we teach excellently. Who will open in prayer?

I think I heard someone murmur "preach it sister." I was thrilled. Not
only had my educational theory had been crystallized for me in one
moment, no one was mad at me! They had every appearance of coming on
time next week too.

And they all did, for the rest of the Spring.

Your Cyber Friend,